Wednesday, December 1, 2010


When I was 8 years old, I did not have any girlfriends - they appeared to be boring and too obsessed with themselves. They were interested in showing off, discussing boys and playing with their dolls. Though I sometimes liked to play with the dolls, boys topic was boring to me and I did not understand showing off at all. So for some time I preferred boys' company over girls'. Boys were all about playing different games, always full of ideas and ready for any adventure we could think of.

That lasted for some time until one day boys started telling me they liked me "like a girl". This sounded silly to me - yesterday we were climbing trees, discussing our war strategies against the team from the next yard - and all of a sudden they tell me these weird things! I felt betrayed in a way - I did like to be in the center of attention, but did not mean to get attention of that kind. I remember how I returned the boys all their presents to me and had to return to the girls' company.

My first girlfriend was a real bitch to put things straight - she enjoyed manipulating people, loved to be admired by boys and plotted nasty things for everyone around her. I did not blame her a lot for such behavior - her case was a sad one - her parents divorced and were building their own lives she was no part of - she was left with her grandparents and I guess her behavior was her way to gain some self-esteem. I was no exception to her intrigues - got my piece of them all right. We eventually broke up when I realized that she was actually enjoying making people around her feel miserable.

My second girlfriend is still my good friend - we were separated by geography, not difference in characters. We were best friends for a decade - through high school and university years. We did not look alike, but at some point people kept asking us if we were sisters - we were behaving and talking in the same manner.

When we graduated from the university, she went on to study for her second degree in Italy, married there and now is living in Switzerland working there. We sometimes talk on Skype - but our lives are so different now, that we don't have many topics to discuss - being as far apart as we are. The only subject to discuss is to provide short update on our lives which is not what I believe to be equal to a real friendship relationship.

There were more girlfriends in my life, but once we were separated - either they immigrated or I - relationship would cool down. I do not see a big tragedy in it - it is just a natural pace of life - we change, circumstances change - so do people around us. We will always have warm feelings and affection towards people who we spent some part of our life with, but it does not mean we have to try to keep to our past just because of good memories we have together...

1 comment:

  1. same with me. I take whatever life brings me. my much loved girlfriends of 15 years are so far away now, that dont even have time to tell me about new baby born.