Tuesday, November 18, 2014


It's hard to believe now but I was quite sensitive kid. I would get really upset when someone criticized me or merely teased me. I was very sentimental too - I would collect some stupid memorabilia or cry over some touching moment in the movies. This whole thing made me very vulnerable. I found it was annoying and decided to fight it.

 Stage one of my desensitizing process was to develop a sense of humour - once I have a goal, I usually get what I want. Some time later I was teasing the teaser guru of our class and made him look confused and irritated.

Stage two of the process was not that hard to accomplish at all - at the time I temporarily reunited with Christianity and as you know, Christ was a horrible hoarder and advised his followers against it. So I bid my memorabilia farewell without much sorrow.

Stage three was trickier - I had to grow a thick skin - so that whenever people would try to get under it, they would fail. But that turned out to be easy too - as soon as you have your mind set on it. Soon enough I was perfectly fine with whatever my friends were doing or not doing that would cause the past me lots of disturbance.

Stage four was immigration that severed or badly damaged the few ties that survived in the process above.

This desensitized me was doing just fine for nearly two decades. But now I feel that I cannot develop strong, deep attachments anymore. My kids are the exception of course. Most of my relationships are shallow and not that fulfilling at all. That's disturbing for sure. Now all I need is a plan of how to get some of the sensitivity back. 

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