I somehow started analyzing my religion in details and realized that I disagree with many postulates. And since the religion is a “package deal”, or at least it is so to me, I am not sure I can call myself an Orthodox Christian anymore.
For example, I disagree with the idea that this religion is the only way to God. I never did accept it in fact. But I was trying to push this thought away from me. I am not saying any direct blasphemy, but I am not sure that if the service is performed in a somewhat different way, it’s a direct offence for God.
And there is the Church – we are all required to take their decisions and explanations on the Bible as part of the faith and not dare to doubt them. However, we are all people, and the Church as organization has its own interests that it is destined to pursue. There are saints and always were, but bureaucracy has always been part of any organization as well. And its core goal is to get as much power and influence as possible. Which kind of goes against the basic principles of Christianity.
Another thing I disagree with is the holiness of marriage. I never saw it as such. I have seen too many sad examples in my life to agree with it.
I also just realized that I doubt the shrines worshipping is the right thing to do – there is too much pagan to it and it seems to more distract me from the faith itself, than direct me on my way to it. It turns to sport at some point – I have been to this many shrines hence I am cool.
The other assumption that I strongly disagree with is “any power comes from God”. Like, seriously?!!! Hitler had power. Ughm… This was definitely made up by people to make the parish obey and not dispute their civil rulers. But this goes against the non-interference principle, does it not? And anyways, the Church tends to interfere with the civil governments way too often and at a too intimate level to my liking.
I don’t know where these contemplations will take me to, but I am sure there is a need for change in me.